I Never

Before we begin we'd like you to take a quick quiz. "I Never" is a game to...

A. ...help you rediscover your own personnel worth in the context of a predominately Judeo-christian society.

B. ...give you a basic overview of the Thermodorian reaction as it pertains to the current French fascination with boarish, telethon stooge Jerry Lewis.

C. ...allow a person to inflate an otherwise infinitesimal sense of self worth at the expense of friends, loved ones, and assorted "strangers in the night." And you get to drink, too!

If you quessed C, you're right. I Never is a simple game. Let's say I'm sitting beside you and your clan of drinkers and it's my turn. All I have to do is say "Never have I ever...", followed by a statement of some kind. For instance, if I were to say "Never have I ever eaten squash while naked." Anyone in the room who has eaten squash while naked must drink, including me if in fact I'm one of the guilty. ( I'll never tell!) Now, why is this game fun? Well, you may choose to embarrass someone else in the room by saying something to the effect of "Never have I ever obtained carnal knowledge related to one Mr. Boris Yeltsin." A player in the room who has entrusted in you the secret of their passing fling with Mr. Yeltsin, and who had hoped such information would never become public knowledge, would have to drink, thus revealing the affair to everyone present. You can pat yourself on the back, if you will, in much the same fashion. The important thing is that before beginning the game all present must agree to be completely honest and swear that any incriminating evidence that surfaces during the game will never be repeated again. Try not to horribly damage someone's reputation and, for God sakes, don't play if your significant other is present. They may laugh now but, believe me, you'll be crying later.